its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize