How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
