it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
