I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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