Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
