clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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