I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize