I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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