After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize