she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
