And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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