i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
