its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
