Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
