I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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