quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize