As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
