The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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