Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
