She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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