she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Someone signed my nipple.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
