I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
