her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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