Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize