dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
