Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
