jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
