i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
