can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
