someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize