Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
