If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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