You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
