i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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