The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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