i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
