I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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