i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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