Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
