I'm eating all of the evidence.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
