Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
