That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
