why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sorry about my life...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize