yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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