Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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