Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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