I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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