ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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