is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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