then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
