so explain again why im purple
no
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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