who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
