Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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