Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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