There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
