How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
